OFF
ever get that feeling when everything just manages to piss you off? For no particular reason you feel like as if all that's around you is not working the way it's supposed to which results to throwing your whole world off balance and you can't quite get a grip on things.
nothing seems to hold your attention...
the slightest flaws irritate...
a million thoughts run through your head but you can't focus on one single freakin' idea...
...and if some insensitive sh*thead even makes the
SLIGHTEST mention or comment about all of this being JUST PMS...
I swear.... I'll go ballistic on them...
I'll get over this slump. It's just a matter of how soon....
part 2
So where was I?
Right, the videos...
So what did the client want? Let's just put it this way:
I had to get in touch with my inner
jologs just to get a halfway approval.
And the process hurts. Not to mention the fact I lost some respect for myself in the process...
Actually, I think I'll just leave it at that. It's far too painful to recall.
Send to oblivion.
Bangag
So what else is new right? You forego sleep and rest for 5 nights because of work. What gets my goat is the fact that I need to ignore this thing I have called
A BRAIN just to get my work accepted.
I'm editing 6 videos for a computer school which will be holding its national convention soon. Prior to that, I've edited AND COMPLETED 6 already. The reason I'm doing 6 more is the fact that according to the client:
"Walang dating ang trabaho namin"
THIS is what we gave them the first time:
Fully original material:
shot with a Panasonic 24p DVX100 - a camera that does
24-frame progressive scan (hence 24p) simulating the look of a film camera. In other words,
KICK ASS FOOTAGE!!! shot by no other than Eli Balce - up and coming music video and TV director.
Soundtrack:
we used great material from
Ciudad, Chillout Project, Sandwich, Barbie's Cradle and other great homegrown bands. (to support and promote local music...)
Concept:
Although not original, (it was the client's anyway) had a fresh take on it. Cheesy stories with a bit of class
kuno...
All in all, not a shabby piece of work.
Then the client says....
"Wala namang kalatuy-latuy trabaho niyo... Kung ganyan na lang eh di sa mga studyante na lang namin kami na pagawa sana...
What the FART?!?
Do you know what they wanted in exchange?
DO YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?!?!?!
I'll get back to you when my pressure's stablized a bit...
Current Movie, Book and Music Fare
Movie: Lately been looking for Woody Allen movies. For some reason or another, I seem to be able to relate to his neuroses more now.
Which is what worries me....
Book: Kabuki Dancer by Sawako Ariyoshi
Fiction based on history on the origins of the Kabuki theater said to have been established by a woman named Okuni in the late 17th century Japan. Read it before but now only beginning to appreciate the history.
Music: Soundtrack from In the Mood for Love
Haunting and sad but nevertheless seems to be the perfect fit to a movie about unrealized loves and whispered secrets. Could be mistaken for "senti" music but somehow rises above it, especially when you've seen the movie. And since i'm a sucker for oldies music, the fact Nat King Cole is there makes it all the more a treat. A review I read goes:
"Underneath the beautifully layered music...is such a sense of sadness and loneliness that it seeps right into your bones like a wet winter chill and stays there for the entirety of the playing."
I couldn't agree more...
Get Out There and SHOOT!
fresh from checking out Wawel's photo blog. makes me want to take out my SLR and start shooting.
and i might just do that.
abangan....
Wry Observation
Going to share thoughts about punctuality and Pinoys (a combination that leaves much to be desired). To those with a weak sense of humor, pass on, this ain't for you....
A senior production manager (PM) shared with me her policy on keeping time during the first days we worked together:
"If you're early, you're on time.
If you're on time, you're late.
If you're late, it's unaccepatble."
A bit scary; bordering on obsessive compulsive (OC) behavior. But when given second thought, it's really a considerate gesture to people who are giving you their time.
The twisted logic of the Filipino psyche would probably modify this to its taste:
"If you're late, you're on time.
If you're on time, you're early.
If your're early, you're stupid."
I
DARE you to tell me this isn't true....
RECIPE FOR FAKE BLOOD
1/2 CUP KARO LIGHT SYRUP
1 TABLESPOON WATER
RED AND YELLOW FOOD COLORING
1 TABLESPOON INSTANT COFFEE
PREPARATIONS:
1. Combine Karo and water in a cup.
2. Mix in yellow and red food coloring till desired color is achieved.
3. Darken with instant coffee.
4. Fake serious bodily injury.
5. Apply product.
6. Freak out innocent bystanders.
Shelled
When you say you feel numb, how can you possibly tell when you can't feel already? I was going to say it's a scary feeling but then again, given said reason, how's that possible?
And yet for some reason it seems it is...
It's coming to a point when I can't feel things anymore. Not regret, not guilt, not hurt... I could go on....
The very thing I swore to be, I'm becoming - someone who just goes through the motions but never really being in the moment and feeling it.
I'm so calloused now.
I seem to be trapped inside this shell; this cold, santized shell. And as much as a part of me wants to break out, it's being smothered by that part that's gone indifferent - that part of me that doesn't care anymore.
Every instinct tells me I can't break out of this on my own. Someone from the outside has to do it and whoever that person is has to do it with such force it's going to break me. And it's going to be pain like I've never felt before.
And naturally, I don't want it.
But I have to be broken.
And it has to happen soon because I don't know how much longer I can last like this.
