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The Obligatory IntroductionSo I've finally hauled myself in front of the computer to type out this essay and I don't have a single idea to write about. This is the story of my life: a thousand unwritten, unrealized ideas.
I'm beginning to discover that perhaps it is not that I'm not able to write my ideas down, it's just that I seem to have a very poor sense of timing. As far as wits go, I can say I'm not dull. But when it comes to the timing, I'm about as offbeat as a percussionist can get when he's pretty f*cked up.
The Cutesy Gimmick
I'm waiting to sneeze...
...Wow, that felt good.
Where was I?... Oh yeah...
The Pre-angst Buildup
Other than offbeat, what other word can you use to describe yourself with when you're psychoanalysing yourself in the middle of the night while the rest of the normal, in-beat world is sleeping? It's not that I haven't realized my being off before. I just didn't know how much I was off; how I was different from most folks out there. How else can you explain how I can come up with brilliant ideas only they're either too early or too late for its time? So what happens is one of either two things: (1) I am seen weird and radical or (2) slow and stupid.
The few who can somehow adjust themselves to my timing and not see me as either of the abovementioned may still have some difficulty. Prolonged exposure seems to tax their nerves and patience. Of course they may say otherwise, but I've grown to be quite sensitive to these things.
And Finally, She Gets To The Point...
As I write this I'm thinking about a person; someone I've meet recently. For a moment, I thought I've met someone who's as offbeat as I am. This person could somehow tune in to how I think when I'm thinking it. And for once, I didn't feel as odd like I've always had ever since I can remember. But then of course, the Signal Light Syndrome never fails to kick in.
Allow me to explain:
When driving, have you ever noticed that sometimes, the signal lights of your car is in sync with the signal lights of the car in front of you? They seem to be blinking exactly at the same time yours is. But after a long enough period they start to differ in timing until eventually they're not in sync anymore. That's how I feel for practically every waking moment. Odd, different, and hopelessly offbeat.
I feel as if everyone has found their round hole whereas I'm still a square peg.
The Trite and Cliche Conclusion
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As some of you may already have figured out, there is no intended conclusion for this entry. Let's just say I'm letting this out into the great void for no particular reason. This entry was not meant to solicit one particular reaction, nor any response for that matter. This, of course, is yet another proof of the offbeat nature of yours truly. - At least I'm being consistent.
