Shelled
When you say you feel numb, how can you possibly tell when you can't feel already? I was going to say it's a scary feeling but then again, given said reason, how's that possible?And yet for some reason it seems it is...
It's coming to a point when I can't feel things anymore. Not regret, not guilt, not hurt... I could go on....
The very thing I swore to be, I'm becoming - someone who just goes through the motions but never really being in the moment and feeling it.
I'm so calloused now.
I seem to be trapped inside this shell; this cold, santized shell. And as much as a part of me wants to break out, it's being smothered by that part that's gone indifferent - that part of me that doesn't care anymore.
Every instinct tells me I can't break out of this on my own. Someone from the outside has to do it and whoever that person is has to do it with such force it's going to break me. And it's going to be pain like I've never felt before.
And naturally, I don't want it.
But I have to be broken.
And it has to happen soon because I don't know how much longer I can last like this.
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